If like me your dating life has largely been lived out through friends of friends, the odd liaison in a nightclub or by finding Mr/Mrs Right on a Friday night bender at the local Plume & Feathers, then yes online dating is going to seem alien and clinical in comparison.
Add to this the ugly nature of the self-promotion required to achieve an even halfway interesting or decent dating bio and voila there you have it, a deep-rooted resistance to online dating that may find you out in the cold this winter wondering, “will I ever find love?”
Why are those of us of a certain age so resistant to finding true love online?
The truth is that in this day and age, for those of us on our second, third or even fourth time around on the merry-go-round-of-love, there are very few scenarios where we can organically meet guaranteed singles, where we don’t look desperate or like predators.
No flirting in the supermarket please!
Word to the wise here, flirting in the supermarket is not a great idea. Attractive possibles always have a gorgeous partner (and often a child or two) lurking around the next isle, and while you – ridiculously low cleavage and push-up-bra combo, skirt around your middle – looking somewhere between an aging St.Trinian’s audition and Pat Butcher, are making goey-eyes and profusely apologising to him for bumping trolleys- while trying telepathically to convince him to give you his number, your desperation is avidly witnessed, and your humiliation complete, as his beautiful wife purposefully introduces herself and breaks the spell.
Life was so much easier when we were out hunting as a pack; and I’m not talking primitive-man-cave times either – when we were younger and out en masse feeling supported and safe. Championing one another in the great cause of finding someone cute to cop-off with, we never considered that we wouldn’t one day meet ‘the one’.
Disillusionment sets in pretty quickly however, when having given the best years of your life (well your most virile and energetic years anyway) to that someone special, you wake up one morning completely alone wondering what the hell happened?
You dip your toe in the murky waters of dating again and realise the world has shifted on its axis, you are now forced to pucker up and pose, suck in your stomach and airbrush your life with clever witty remarks and impressive accounts of the adventurer you once were (or always intended to be).
Dating in your absence has gone digital and you are forced to look for love online, or die alone! – Has it really come to this?
The dating reality
The simple answer is yes. If you want to find a partner then you are better off drinking at the main watering hole than scouring the Savanna for a deserted puddle.
But ‘getting with the programme’ doesn’t mean selling your soul to the devil, and creating a dating bio doesn’t have to be as impossible or as terrifying as it seems.
An honest and playful account of yourself is easier to create than you might think, and if you really can’t find the words that carefully and colourfully define you, then ConsideringLove.com can do the hard work for you!
For more information about their Ready to Date Programme click here
In a world that can sometimes seem full of lies and misery there is still plenty of light and love for all of us to enjoy!
Just as we have the choice to be alone – there isn’t anything wrong with prioritising yourself and enjoying your life unencumbered by a relationship– it’s also okay to try again, and again and sometimes even again!
Remember we’re pack animals at heart and the pull to connect is a completely organic and natural one.
“In prehistoric times, being close to a partner was a matter of life and death, and our attachment system developed to treat such proximity as an absolute necessity.”
DR. Amir, L. & Heller, R. (2019) Attached. Bluebird books for life.
Start dating online now
Returning to the dating scene after a significant setback can be challenging, and many of us may require some support to address the emotional barriers hindering our journey toward building a fulfilling and enduring partnership with someone new.
Could it be time to brave it, and give online dating a proper go?
“embracing a much more active approach to dating increases your chances of finding love by a thousandfold”
https://www.gentlemanwithin.com/will-i-ever-find-love/
Whatever the fears are that are holding you back, ConsideringLove.com’s Recipe for love Programme can support you in moving into a loving and sustainable partnership.
Everything you need to get back up and running and fast tracking your search for true love!
Right here
